Two men standing in an elevator. One has a large bruise on his forehead. Man #1: Dude. What happened to your face? Man #2: Oh nothing. I just fell asleep in the shower and knocked my head against the faucet. Man #1: Wow. I bet that woke you up.pretty quick, huh? Man #2: No. I […]
Person #1: I feel hungry. Person #2: Hunger’s not an emotion. Person #3: It is today. #ElevatorConversations
Person #1: Did you hear what Beyoncé said about Donald Trump? Person #2: Celebrity gossip is like Sports. Or the weather. Cheap Elmer’s Glue for people who can’t figure out another way to bond. Person #1: Alright. Fine. Damn.
Kids: Daddy, what’s “Middle Aged?” Me: The point in life where regret overtakes hope. #ElevatorConversations
I’m standing in the elevator. Some guy walks in, presses a button, and the doors close. The elevator does not move. Me: Great. Him: (to the tune of a Dora Explorer song) Come on, Vomanos. Everybody let’s go!. I look at him as if to say, “Really, dude?” He looks sheepish until the elevator starts […]
Standing in an elevator with my eldest son. Me: Hey, buddy. Your shoes are on backwards. Him: Yep. #ElevatorConversations
Man #1: I’d make a pretty bad father. Man #2: Yeah, but you’d make a kick ass uncle! #ElevatorConversations
I’m standing in an elevator, alone, when a man in a leather coat and dark sunglasses walks in. The door closes behind him. The man turns his head and stares at me. Me: Hey, man. How’s it going? Him: … Me: … Him:… Me: Hot out today, isn’t it? Him: … Me: … Him: … […]