We’ve done it a few times this election season, and we’re back for more! My good friend and fellow mad scribbler, Dr Jamie D. Greening, and I have tackled five important questions about the remains of the election season, wrestled those questions to the ground, and made them tap out.
Hoo-Ahhh!
Here are our thoughts. Go check out Jamie’s post as well (link forthcoming once it’s up).
1. How do you read the polls?
Joe Shaw:
In order to correctly read the polls, you must first choose a room in your house cleanse it by reciting the necessary incantations first drafted by Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings at the annual meeting of the Bohemian Grove in 1983. Peter was dressed as an owl. Tom was dressed as Ziggy Stardust. You don’t have to go THAT far, but you can if you want to. It helps.
After this, you must sacrifice a live pig, a live turkey, and a live chicken, then wrap the chicken inside the meat of the turkey inside the meat of the pig, wrapping each layer in strips of candied bacon, shredded pineapples, and finely chopped green onions. Cook this monstrosity in a smoker for 24 hours, then serve it to your unsuspecting family.
Record a video of this meal, and post it to YouTube. The 3rd letter of each comment taken in ascending order by post date will spell out the insights to the polls that will INCONCLUSIVELY prove who will win the election.
This the ONLY WAY to know what the actual heck is going on this election season. There is no other way.
Jamie Greening:
I don’t trust the polls. Not because I believe they are biased (although some certainly are) but because the sampling on those is skewed due to fewer landlines, reticence of people to answer those kinds of calls, and the increased dependence upon AI and other internet driven methodology. So, the only thing I think the polls are telling us is this is a close race. I don’t think it necessarily shows momentum one way or another, but that it is close.
JG Responds:
Although I am unsure about your set up, Shaw, I agree with you in terms of perspective. There really is no way to know what is happening as so much is unprecedented and the mood of the country is hard to tell. I do feel like it might break hard one way or the other, though, as the election happens, much like Reagan in 1980 – he won in a landslide, but four weeks before the polls all had Carter winning re-election.
JS Responds:
I’m with you. I don’t trust them, either. As I hope my response above shows, I’m exasperated with them, as well, mostly because of the bias and what seems, to me at least, like cherry-picked responses. “According to polls hand-picked by our candidate’s team … OUR CANDIDATE IS WINNING!!!” It’s a faux scientific approach to marketing, which makes them about as useful as Peter Jennings in an Owl Costume.
2. What surprises, if any, do you expect?
JS: Elvis Presley, John Lennon, and Kurt Cobain could descend from the skies, riding gigantic demon squirrels, shouting the lyrics to “All You Need Is Love” while assaulting the poor huddled masses below with super soakers filled with strawberry Fanta, and I would just shrug, saying, “Seems about right to me.”
The chaos of this election season has reinforced in me the Socratic Philosophy that all knowledge begins when you admit that you know nothing, except I don’t expect to know much else, moving forward, either.
JG: That’s a tough one. I suspect a surprise might be Wisconsin going red for Trump, but then that being offset by North Carolina going blue for Harris. I can also see a world in which one of the big red states like Texas, Ohio, or Florida go for Harris this year. I mean, it has been a while since Florida surprised us. They are due. It might be my home state of Texas, even. The Trump Campaign is spending money on airtime in Texas, which is a place they usually don’t usually spend. I think their internal polling is telling them something.
JG Responds:
Strawberry Fanta sounds delicious. I always drink red Kool-Aid while watching election returns. Maybe this year I will put on a little Elvis/Lennon/Nirvana playlist to go along with it. However, I am not as cynical as you are, Shaw. I do think some things are concretely knowable. The challenge is figuring out what those things are.
JS Responds:
Don’t say things like “It has been a while since Florida surprised us,” Jamie. We will respond to that with a big #ChallengeAccepted. I agree, though. With so many people having left states like New York and California for states like Florida and Texas, I could see either flipping. That would be a huge swing.
3. How would you strategize for each candidate?
JS: What I want is for the candidates to stop the tomfoolery and focus on policy. I’d also like to be able to dunk a basketball while riding a unicorn, and that ain’t happening, either. So, what each candidate needs to do is address their weaknesses with independent, younger voters while working to drive out their base in large numbers.
For Trump, that means focusing on being relatable. His biggest problem with folks under 40 is he is an a-hole who doesn’t care about other people. The problem here is that being an a-hole is part of why large parts of his base love him, so he needs to balance being relatable to folks who maybe have not considered him in the past with letting his longtime supporters know he can still throw a punch when needed. To achieve this, he needs to stay away from traditional media, focusing on social media, longform podcasts, and his patented rallies. He needs to talk about politics interspersed with fun, lighthearted conversation, focusing not on his opponent’s failings, but what he plans to do once he wins (or, as he would likely call it, assuming the sale). Trump did just this, recently, when he was on Andrew Schulz’s Flagrant podcast, and rumors that he’s going to do Rogan as well tells me he sees this and is headed in the right direction.
For Harris, her weakness is legitimacy. She didn’t get much support in the 2020 primaries, and was installed, not elected, to the candidacy she is in today. As a result, there is a perception, even among Democrats, that she shouldn’t be there, and her recent fumbling interview history feeds into that. She speaks, in her campaigns at least, like someone who is desperately trying to get in as many talking points per minute as she can. It feels to me like she’s got a team of analysts telling her to DO THIS and DON’T DO THAT; as if she’s BEING directed and not LEADING. What she needs to do is open the floodgates and just be who she is. Answer questions honestly, addressing what her interviewers are saying rather than staying on whatever message she hopes to deliver. Drive the narrative, drive the campaign, and both her problems go away. I haven’t seen her take steps in this direction, though, and I’m not sure there’s enough time to get effective gains if she does.
JG: The best strategy for Donald Trump is to focus on Pennsylvania and Pennsylvania only. He might want to consider buying a house there. I see no path forward for him to win the White House without Pennsylvania.
Kamala Harris must whittle down the gender gap. She doesn’t have to close it much, but there is a narrow sliver of men who might be persuaded she’s okay. I actually think that is why she has mentioned owning a gun so much of late. Now look for her to do something ‘sportsy.’
JG Responds:
You might be right about Trump and the likeable factor, but my feeling is people already, after nine years in politics, four as POTUS, a lifetime of New York headlines, a cameo in Home Alone 2, a bigtime TV show – people already know Trump. That bizarre sliver of undecideds really are making up their mind about Kamala, not Trump. They are weighing her against him and I think most people feel they don’t have enough information about her.
JS Responds:
Picture a commercial. Lebron James is playing Michael Jordan in a 1v1 game. Finally, we get to decide who the GOAT is. Both men are exhausted, but neither will quit. A few plays pass in quick succession. Then, MJ pulls up for a baseline jumper. We watch the ball fly through the air, bounce off the rim, and then … Kamala Harris catches the rebound and drains a shot from the other side. MJ and LBJ turn to each other and say, “I guess we know who the GOAT is, now!”
Then Donald Trump crushes everyone in a gigantic monster truck.
4. What do you think will be the biggest factor?
JS: Voter turnout.
JG: We don’t know how the nation feels yet about the legal activity against Donald Trump. I was against it and thought it unwise. Will people – and all it takes a tiny needle change – decide a convicted felon shouldn’t be president and either refuse to vote or vote Harris or, just as possible, will they punish Democrats for what they view as a political maneuver? I think that is one big unknowable factor.
The other, as I’ve been screaming about for a while, is abortion. I am prolife, but most Americans are in favor of some abortion protection as we have seen in even very red states like Kansas. This will play a factor, not in Louisiana or Montana, but in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Florida, and Michigan. It played a big part in 2022.
JG Responds:
That’s weak, Shaw. Voter turnout is always a key. If we had time for follow-ups I would ask what do you mean. Will more voter turnout, like 2020, help Harris or Trump? What about turnout in individual states. I suspect, for example, low turnout might help Harris in some places because I think some of the energy factor for Trump from 2016 and 2020 has evaporated. I mean, I don’t see many ‘Trump Trains’ anymore, just to point out an indicator.
JS Responds:
Did you see the rally in Butler? The second one, I mean. The one where he DIDN’T get shot at. It was massive and full of energy. And Trump had a rally in Manhattan not to long ago that was huge (or, as he would say, “Yuge”). I’m not usually a fan of his “look at my crowd size!” rhetoric, but … to pull that many folks in NYC says something, even for him.
I’m suspect about the abortion issue. You can say Trump has been KNOWN for a long time and you have a point, but abortion has been argued and fought over for even longer. Yes, there was renewed, fightin’ energy on the side of abortion supporters in the wake of the Dobbs decision, but there has been almost as much fightin’ energy from the conservative side who believe Trump is being railroaded through lawfare. So I put the two at a wash.
5. What about the House and Senate?
JS: Republicans need to win two competitive states to win the majority, and I think they’ve got a good chance at doing that. Tim Sheehy will overtake Jon Tester in Montana, and I think Bernie Moreno will unseat Sherrod Brown in Ohio. Dems have a shot at a Colin Allred upset over Ted Cruz in Texas, though, so it’s a no-holds barred steel cage death match to the finish for all parties involved in the Senate.
I don’t have as much of an ear on the House as I do elsewhere, but I get the feeling it will either stay or deepen Red once all is said and done.
My predictions overall: I see Kamala winning an extremely narrow victory but facing a Republican House and Senate. Of course, I still think there will be World War 3, soon, like I said in one of our previous posts. Because I’m just a happy guy.
JG: Democrats have a tough road for the Senate, so I expect the GOP will take back the upper chamber but in a great flip-flop the Democrats will win the House with a more comfortable margin than many would suspect. And from where I set, that would make me happy because divided government is usually better governent.
JG Responds:
I am not predicting World War III. I do think there will be a growing land war in the Middle East, but that has been brewing since …. forever. At this point, I feel like Harris will win the Presidential election as well, and it will be razor thing in the margins per state, but I think she will have a large electoral college cushion. I could be very, very wrong. I confidently predicted Biden would win four years ago and nailed some of the individual states like Arizona and Georgia, but I am not as confident this year. It really could swing in either direction.
JS Responds:
You predicted Florida in 2020, too, even though I told you it would go for Trump. I know this state. It’s MY state. Or, rather, it was my state before Helene and Milton. Now, it’s just a mess.
I honestly have no idea what will happen with the Senate or the House. Your guess is as good as mine. I do have to agree, though, that divided government is the best government. At worst, some of the more ridiculous ideas have a good chance at being shot down. At best, people of differing ideologies being forced to work together moves us toward the kind of unity we so desperately need.
Until Trump crushes all of us with a monster truck, that is.