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Something Might Happen

Dad said not to bring my glove. “We’re all the way up in the red seats,” he said.“No one’s gonna hit it up there.” Then, as if to emphasize the point, “No way. Not. At. All.”

But I brought it anyway.

It was an early April morning in 1988. The late ’80s were good years – after Pete Rose had broken the record but before the mess of banishment – when the Reds seemed to always finish second to the Dodgers, Giants, or Astros, no matter how hard they tried.

Dad and I rode a city bus down Winton Road from the northern suburbs, through St. Bernard, through Corryville, past UC, and straight through Over the Rhine like a Barry Larkin line drive, ending up on Fountain Square an hour ahead of the Findlay Market parade. It was Opening Day, the holiest of baseball holidays, and we reveled in our annual pilgrimage.

I held the glove under my left arm. Dad eyed me sideways. “You never know,” I said. “Something might happen.”

Dad got a coffee, I opened a bag of peanuts, and we sat on the steps overlooking Fifth Street. The crowds started to gather. “Tell me the Johnny Bench story again,” I said, and he launched into an elaborate tale of the time, when he was in middle school, he and a friend got a ride home from Crosley Field with the new Rookie catcher, Johnny Bench.

“He rolled up to us in a big convertible and said, “You boys need a lift? Of course we said yes, and he drove us all the way home.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Nothing. We was both too scared to say anything, so we sat in silence the whole way.”

The parade started. Marching bands, decorated Cadillacs carrying politicians, and elaborate floats with local celebrities carrying signs for hometown staples like Goldstar Chili and JTM hamburgers went by in quick succession. When the last float passed, the crowd flowed in behind, following the parade like a jubilant, New Orleans wake, down to Riverfront Stadium for the start of a brand new season.

We made it to our seats high up in the red seats about as far away from the field as you could get.

“You think the Reds have a chance this year?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Dad said. “Soto’s washed up, Bo Diaz is a rusted out, chain-link fence behind the plate, and I’m still not sure about Larkin over Stillwell at short.”

I soured a little. He noticed.

“Then again, that Tom Browning is pretty good, Eric Davis can hit the cover off the ball, and with Franco closing, you never know…”

“Something might happen,” we said together, and laughed. It was always easy to laugh when it was him and me.

The game was a tough one. Mario Soto gave up an early lead to the Cardinals. He was, indeed, washed up, which didn’t bode well for the season. The Reds were down 4-1 in the sixth, but battled back to a tie in the seventh and took it to extra innings.

“More baseball for the exact same price!” Dad used to say.

The game was fun, but I wanted a ball. I stood for most of the afternoon with my glove on my hand, ready. Dad just shook his head like he knew something I didn’t.

For a while, it seemed like that might be the case but, in the 11th, Tracey Jones tagged a foul shot off of a Cardinal reliever, and I watched as the ball soared up to our section.

“Go for it!”

I ran down the steps to the front row, reaching my glove as far out over the railing as I could, hoping for a miracle. The ball danced around the webbing at the tip of my glove, then bounced away, falling to the blue seats below. I returned to my seat, dejected.

“That’s alright,” Dad said. “You’ll get the next one.”

But the next one didn’t come. Not then, anyway. Kal Daniels knocked in a run in the the twelfth, “And this one belongs to the Reds!” everyone shouted, mimicking Marty Brennaman’s signature phrase. The Reds won 5-4 and, right then, everyone in the stands truly believed that day’s success would carry us all the way to the World Series.

Opening Day does that to you, somehow. It makes believers out of all of us.

I fell asleep on the bus afterward. Dad carried me from the bus stop to our house, my glove secured safely in his left arm, the same way he carried his glove when he was young. The same way my kids carry their gloves today. The sins and graces of the father passing down unto multiple generations, forever and ever, Amen.

It was a good day.

It was a good year, too. Chris Sabo got his start, and it wasn’t long before all the kids in my school wanted their own pair of Spuds McKenzie goggles. Danny Jackson won 23 games and would have won a Cy Young, too, if not for Orel Hershiser. Tom Browning threw a perfect game and Ron Robinson came within one strike of the same feat, too.

The Reds hosted the All Star Game, with Barry Larkin – who really WAS better than Kurt Stillwell it turned out – on the team, proving himself more than capable of carrying Concepcion’s mantle.

Dad and I went to a lot of games that year and in the years to follow. But nothing beats Opening Day. No matter how bad the Reds are, no matter how bleak the prospects, on Opening Day anything is possible. On Opening Day, the slate is clean and the entire season stretches out in front of you like a dream.

Another Opening Day is right around the corner. The Redlegs could tank, sure, but you never know. Magic could strike at any time. It happens. All it takes is the willingness to believe, just for a day. So grab your glove, keep your eyes open, and wait for something to happen.

Because on Opening Day, something always does.

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Caramel Hill – A Free Easter Story from Jamie D Greening

The Fondue Writers are back, and this time we’re tackling Easter WITH A VENGEANCE.

Okay, so we’re not really tackling Easter, per se. We’re really more addressing it. Or commenting on it. Or writing free fiction about it. You get the idea.

Whatever it we’re doing to Easter … we are definitely doing it … WITH A VENGEANCE. That much I can assure you.

Leading us off for the Easter Explode-A-Ganza is our dear friend from Austin, Texas: Jamie D Greening. And BOY does Jamie have a good yarn for you. If all the pomp and circumstance around Easter – and most holidays in general – seems a bit STRANGE to you, well, you’re gonna like checking out “CARAMEL HILL.” 



Jamie’s got a lot of other stuff you can read at his website, jamiegreening.com, including his wildly popular Butch Gregory series (see The Little Girl Waits, How Great is the Darkness, and A Dream Within). Jamie has a few books in the works coming out later this year as well.

Stick with us for the next two weeks as we bring to you at least six short stories (one of which is from Yours Truly!) to help make your Easter Dreams come true. Or stop them. Whichever it is you’re looking for … We got you covered. 

Rejoice! Free Fiction is Upon Us Yet Again! Rejoice! 

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The Ballad of Adam and Grace – A Free Valentine’s Story from Rob Cely

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! And thanks to those who have made it throgh our Valentine’s Free Fiction Explode-A-Ganza. The final story in this series comes from Rob Cely, and it defies any explanation or series of stupid words on the part of Yours Truly, other than to say: Go read it. Go read it now.

If you fell in love with this one, why not give some of the other authors a chance as well. Check out the sites for ALL of the Fondue Writers: Joseph Courtemanche, Jamie D. Greening, Kathy Kexel, Derek Alan Elkins, Rob Cely, and Dr. Paul Bennet. If you like what you see, why not pick up a few copies of their books? It covers the cost of everything, and it gives us hope in those long, dark nights when we’re dreaming up new stories, that Christmas miracles really do come true.

You might also consider our first collection of short stories, The Covid Quarantine Catina, written during the first months of the Covid-19 lockdowns. It’s available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats.

The Fondue Writer’s Club (and Bar & Grille and Laundromat) will be back at Easter to wow you with yet another Holiday-focused Free Fiction Explode-A-Ganza. Until then, keep your chin up, smile at old people at babies, and above all else … don’t break anything. .

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Something More Than This – A Free Valentine’s Day Story in One Act

You’ve read the rest of the Fondue Writer’s Free Fiction Valentine’s Day stories. Now, it’s time to suffer through mine! Hold onto your goetta, folks. This one’s a doozie.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

SETTING: A small restaurant. The dinner patrons have just finished eating their meal and have settled into conversation. The waitress drops off the last of the drinks as Kevin, who is just hitting his stride, launches into another story to the enjoyment of his friends.

KEVIN: So I went out with Beth the other night.

ADAM: Was that the girl you met at Mike and Melissa’s Christmas party?

KEVIN: No. That was Chrissie. This was Beth, the blind date my cousin set me up on.

JOSH: Whatever happened to Jaime? Did you guys break up or something?

KEVIN: Not really. It just didn’t work out.

MIKE: What happened?

KEVIN: She had a mole and that wrecked it for me.

ADAM: A mole?

MIKE: (sarcastically) Oh no, Kevin … Not a mole!

ADAM: Moley Moley Moley Moley …

JOSH: Come on, now, Kevin, you have to look past these kinds of things. It’s the twenty first century. Society is evolving. Be a bigger man.

ADAM: Right, and besides, those women are all the rage in Borneo and Sri Lanka these days. Were you to move there with the lovely, mole-faced Jamie as your wife, you’d be a king!

MIKE: I once dated a woman who had Fred Flintstone feet and I learned to put up with it.

KEVIN: Fred Flintstone feet?

MIKE: Yeah. She had only four toes. All of them were normal at the base but spread out into a thin, flat circle around the toenail. They looked like little hammerhead sharks. And her feet looked more like flippers than normal feet.

JOSH & KEVIN: Wicked.

MIKE: She had some trouble walking straight, but get that woman into a pool and there was no stopping her.

JOSH: That’s nothing. My ex girlfriend had a moustache.

KEVIN: No.

JOSH: Yessir. Big and bushy as could be. She tried to shave it off in the morning, but the five o’clock shadow was there by noon. If she let it go for a couple of days, she looked like Tom Selleck.

KEVIN: Really?

JOSH: Yeah. Well … Tom Selleck with breasts.

ADAM: You had it easy. My ex fiancé had Tourette’s syndrome.

MIKE: What’s that?

JOSH: That’s where you inadvertently scream obscenities in public for no good reason.

KEVIN: Doesn’t your mother have that, Josh?

JOSH: No. She’s just mean. She’s always yelling at my brother and me, and I’ve never understood it. It’s not like we accidentally set the neighbor’s garage on fire when we were kids. We knew what we were doing.

KEVIN: That sure was a beautiful flame.

JOSH: Yessir.

MIKE: You could see it for miles around.

ADAM: Well my ex fiancé’s Tourette’s was real. Imagine my embarrassment when I bent down on one knee to propose marriage and, in her excitement, she let out a string of obscenities just as a a bunch of kids walked past.

MIKE: Did she say yes?

ADAM: Of course! And the restaurant manager was so impressed with my demeanor, he took my picture and put it on the wall.

KEVIN: So how come you never got married?

ADAM: We had political disagreements.

JOSH: Was she one of those brainless libs?

ADAM: No.

MIKE: A right wing nut job?

ADAM: No.

KEVIN: What was it then?

ADAM: I caught her sleeping with the mayor.

MIKE: That’ll do it every time.

ADAM: How was your date with Beth, Kevin? Was it a smashing success as usual?

KEVIN: Mostly. It started out great, but I ran into some problems about halfway through.

ADAM: What happened?

KEVIN: I had it all planned out. I picked her up in the Beamer, greeted her with a massive bouquet, and I made sure there was a bottle of wine waiting for us at the restaurant.

MIKE: Classy.

JOSH: You bought her flowers? She must be hot. I never buy flowers on the first date.

ADAM: And it’s a wonder you’re still single.

JOSH: You’re already paying for dinner. Flowers on top of that is a lot of money for someone you might never see again.

ADAM: Dude, you’re hopeless.

KEVIN: We ordered dinner and did the chick talk-y thing. (pasue) The problem was I had bad gas building up for over an hour, and of course I couldn’t just beef right there at the dinner table.

ADAM: (looking at Josh, as though explaining something to a child) That’s because it’s not considered good date etiquette, Josh. Make sure to write that down.

JOSH: Shut up.

ADAM: Assuming, of course, you succeed in bribing somebody to go out with you again.

JOSH: Shut up!

KEVIN: Or if the Russian brides website takes you off their permanent ban list.

JOSH: Hey that was a misunderstanding. Customs laws are more complicated than you think.

(beat)

KEVIN: When she excused herself to powder her nose, I took advantage of the opportunity and let one fly

ADAM: Of course!

KEVIN: But, I gambled and lost.

MIKE: You what?

KEVIN: Like I said, it was a lot of gas. One of those farts where you can’t tell if it’s going to be an actual bathroom incident or just hot air.

ADAM: And?

KEVIN: It wasn’t just air. (they laugh)

JOSH: So what did you do?

KEVIN: The only thing I could do. I ran to the bathroom, finished up, tossed my underpants in the trash, and made it back to the table before she did.

ADAM: You threw out your underwear in the middle of a restaurant!

KEVIN: Yep. Went commando the rest of the night.

JOSH: And she never suspected it?

KEVIN: No. I had a fresh glass of wine waiting for her when she returned.

JOSH: So the date was a success, then?

KEVIN: More or less. We had a good time, but I don’t think we’ll go out again. She’s a redhead and you know how I feel about redheads.

(The remaining men groan)

MIKE: You’ve gotta get past this redhead thing, man. Just because one or two of them were crazy …

JOSH:  … Or three …

ADAM:  … Or four …

MIKE: It doesn’t mean they’re all bad.

JOSH: Right. You don’t want to be prejudiced against redheads, now.

KEVIN: I’m not prejudiced, but I do do percentages and averages. Of the 5 redheads I’ve dated, 4 of them were nuts. I’m talking full tilt bozo, if you know what I mean.

ADAM: What about the other one?

KEVIN: She became a nun. 

(they all laugh)

JOSH: Hey, speaking of crazy people, did you guys hear about the kid that got lost at the Taste of Orlando festival last week?

ADAM: What about him? Kids get lost at those things all the time.

MIKE: Some get lost for good.

KEVIN: Yeah, that’s that survival of the fittest thing, right?

MIKE: No. I don’t think that applies to humans.

ADAM: Yeah. I think you have to be a fish or a duck or something like that.

MIKE: My cousin looks like a duck. Does that count?

ADAM: I don’t know. Maybe.

KEVIN: Well if anybody was ever naturally selected for extinction, it was my cousin Joey. He went on an all-beer diet to try to lose weight.

JOSH: Sounds interesting.

MIKE: Tell me more.

ADAM: I like the cut of his jib!

KEVIN: I told him he was nuts, but he disagreed. “Beer is nutritious,” he said. “You see bums drinking it all the time. It’s like Ensure™ for homeless people.” (pause)  So he spent a month consuming nothing but beer.

JOSH: What happened?

KEVIN: He died of cirrhosis.

ADAM: Oh, Kevin. I’m sorry.

KEVIN: That’s ok. I never liked him anyway.

MIKE: Why not?

KEVIN He was really into golf and that just got on my nerves.

JOSH: That’s strange.

KEVIN: The week before he died, he attacked me with a five iron.

ADAM: That’s understandable. He was probably hammered out of his mind.

KEVIN: It was my five iron.

EVERYONE ELSE: Oh.

KEVIN: I haven’t been able to hit a decent chip shot since.

JOSH: So this kid shoes up at the police tent at the Taste of Orlando saying he can’t find his mom, right? The cops figure someone will show up in a few minutes, all scared and apologetic like most parents would.

MIKE: My mom thought she lost me at a department store when I was a kid. She lost her mind.

ADAM: Yeah, but you’re mom’s always been crazy.

MIKE: She wanted to kill me when she found out I’d been hiding in the women’s changing room but, when she saw the four hundred pound woman who’d been trying on bras walk out of the room I’d been hiding in, she figured that was punishment enough.

KEVIN & ADAM: (shudder visibly)

JOSH: So this kid sits in the cop tent all day long and his parents never show up. The cops had to take him back to the station and he stayed there for eight days before they found out who he was.

MIKE: That reminds me of the movie “Joe Dirt.”

ADAM: At least he ate well for a couple of days, though.

KEVIN: His parents probably got confused and went to the “Taste of Crack” festival a few blocks over.

JOSH: It’s amazing. You have to get a license to fish, but you can have as many kids as you like no matter how dumb you are.

MIKE: Yeah, but if you catch a bad fish, you can always throw it back.

ADAM: DUDE!

MIKE: What? All I’m saying there’s a difference between fishing and raising kids.

KEVIN: It’s like apples and oranges.

JOSH: Or cheese wheels and roller coasters.

MIKE: Exactly.

ADAM: What happened to the kid? Did he go back to his parents?

JOSH: I don’t know. The story went on to page ten and I didn’t feel like flipping that far into the paper. Besides, all I really wanted to do was see the line on the Super Bowl.

MIKE: That reminds me. Are you guys up for watching the hockey game this weekend at my place?

JOSH: Sure.

KEVIN: Nah. If I wanted to see toothless men beat each other senseless with sticks, I’d go to my family reunion.

ADAM: I can’t.

MIKE: Why not?

ADAM: I have to do community service this weekend.

KEVIN: Did your neighbors catch you peeing in their flowerbed again?

MIKE: How many times have we told you to stop that?

ADAM: That’s not it.

JOSH: Right. His neighbors will never catch him. He’s too stealthy.

MIKE: Er something.

ADAM: I got arrested for shoplifting.

KEVIN: You what?

ADAM: Yep. They took me downtown. Booked me and everything.

MIKE: What did you do, Adam?  (spoken like the line “What did you do, Ray?” in Ghostbusters)

ADAM: Well I was out at the mall last Saturday, looking for a new pair of sandals. My old pair is starting to pull apart at the seams and the strap cuts into my foot.

KEVIN: Oooh. I hate it when that happens. I once cut my foot on my sandals when I was at Cedar Point. By the time I got home I was limping like Quasimodo.

JOSH: I thought he had a hunchback, not a limp.

KEVIN: He had both. I think the two are connected.

JOSH: Oh.

ADAM: I was standing in Abercrombie and Fitch, when I noticed this smoking hot chick standing a few rows over. I’m talking long, brown hair and a gorgeous figure.

MIKE: Now this is getting interesting.

KEVIN: Tell me more.

JOSH: I like the cut of his jib!

ADAM: She has a t-shirt in her hand and she looks around real fast, like she’s checking to make sure nobody’s watching. Then she starts rolling up the t-shirt.

KEVIN: Uh oh.

ADAM: She looks around again to see who’s watching, and then stuffs the t-shirt in her purse.

KEVIN: (shaking his head) That’s what they get for charging $150 for an “all cotton tee.”

ADAM: Right then, I’m thinking maybe this was just a strange way women like to shop. Like it keeps their hands free or something. But I changed my mind when she walked out of the store.

JOSH: So how does this get you arrested?

MIKE: Yeah?

ADAM: Well I figured this was my chance, so I ran out after her and grabbed her elbow. “Undercover security, m’am,” I said. “Step this way, please?”

MIKE: Oh, that’s genius.

ADAM: She’s freaking out. She hands me the shirt from her purse and starts walking back to the store, thinking I’m going to call the cops on her. But I say, “Wait a minute. We don’t have to go through all of that. I’ll let you off with if you promise never to do it again. And if you go to dinner with me.”

JOSH: Beautiful.

KEVIN: Well played, sir!

ADAM: She handed me her driver’s license and I was halfway through copying her address and phone number when I felt a hand on my arm and heard a voice say, “Undercover security, sir. Could you step this way, please?”

MIKE: D’oh!

ADAM: I looked behind me and saw three security guards standing there. I looked back to the girl, but she bolted. She left me standing there with the shirt she’d stolen. They called the cops, I got nailed for shoplifting, and now I have to do 100 hours of community service.

KEVIN: That sucks, dude.

ADAM: It’s not all bad. I did get her number, remember.

JOSH: You didn’t call her, did you?

ADAM: I sure did. We’re going out next weekend. She’s picking me up after my morning of court-ordered, roadside trash collection.

KEVIN: That sounds … romantic?

ADAM: I think so.

JOSH: So, Mike, what’s this big news you want to tell us?

KEVIN: Yeah, what’s going on?

ADAM: Right. We’ve been waiting all night for you to tell us. Speak up!

MIKE: Well. You know how Melissa and I have been dating for almost a year now? You know how I’ve been saying we were meant to be together and all that, right?

ADAM: Is this what I think it is?

JOSH: Mike and Melissa finally broke up.

KEVIN: YES!

JOSH: Welcome back to the fold, my brother. Don’t worry. The pain will go away after the first couple of months.

KEVIN: Right. Take it from him. He’s a pro. He’s wrecked hundreds of relationships.

MIKE: No. We didn’t break up. We’re getting married.

(a long moment of shocked silence)

ADAM: Really?

MIKE: Yes.

KEVIN: Like … married married?

MIKE: Uh-huh.

JOSH: What? Did you lose a bet or something?

MIKE: No.

ADAM: When did this happen?

MIKE: Last night. We went out to dinner, and then we went for a walk next to the lake. I proposed and she said yes.

ADAM: This is gonna change everything.

KEVIN: Don’t you wanna hang out with us anymore?

MIKE: Yeah, I like hanging out with you guys. It’s great to sit here and tell stories over a few drinks, but there has to be a bit more to life than just that. Haven’t you guys ever thought there was something more than this?

JOSH: No.

ADAM: No way.

KEVIN: I know what you mean. It’s like when you’re playing Super Mario Brothers. You get all the way to the end and then King Koopa shoots you with a fireball. You die again and again, but then one day you beat the game. Then you sit back and you say, “What am I gonna do now?”

JOSH: Oh. Hey, yeah. I get it.

ADAM: That’s why they made Super Mario two.

KEVIN: And part three.

ADAM: And Mario Cart!

JOSH: Oooh. I love that game.

KEVIN: Me too. I like the part where…

MIKE: No. Getting married is not like beating a video game.

ADAM: (very surprised) It isn’t?

MIKE: No. It’s like…like meeting an old friend for the first time. Or finding an answer to a question that’s haunted you. It’s not something you can describe, really. That’s what Melissa is to me. Indescribable. She’s that something I’ve been looking for. I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. So we’re getting married.

(more silence)

ADAM: Really?

MIKE: Yes … really. Why is it so hard to believe?

JOSH: I don’t know. It’s a shock, I guess.

ADAM: But … it’s not a bad thing.

JOSH: Yeah. It’s kinda cool.

ADAM: One of the crew, finally tying the knot.

KEVIN: I guess that means there’s hope for the rest of us.

MIKE: Well, maybe not.

KEVIN: Why do you say that?

MIKE: You’re the one who dated a girl with a Tom Selleck moustache, right.

KEVIN: So?

ADAM: Yeah? What’s wrong with that?

(they all look at him with genuine looks of confusion)

MIKE: Nevermind.

(pause)

JOSH: Hey. You know what this means, right?

ADAM: Oh yeah, baby!

ALL (minus Mike): Bachelor party!

ADAM: This one time I was at a bachelor party where the best man took the groom and all of his friends to a bar for some midget tossing. It was awesome!

MIKE: I don’t think that’s a good idea.

JOSH: Whatever, dude. Midget tossing is a classy sport in all those Eastern European countries. They had a special on ESPN 8, and The Ocho never lies.

KEVIN: Didn’t you start your own backyard wrestling league because The Ocho said it was “all the rage? “

ADAM: That’s how you got that concussion, right?

JOSH: Alright. So they lied to me once. They won’t do it again. I trust them.

MIKE: I’m the one getting married, and I don’t think midget tossing is …

KEVIN: We’re the ones planning the party. If we say its midget tossing, then midget tossing it is.

ADAM: We could film it and made our own DVD.

JOSH: Yeah! We could call it “Mike and the Midgets” or maybe just “Mike and Midge” for short. We’d want to save money on printing, so the less words the better.

KEVIN: This is gonna be sweet. I can’t wait!

(Mike lowers his head, shaking it slowly, while everyone else cheers with excitement)

**** **** **** ****

If you fell in love with this one, why not give some of the other authors a chance as well. Check out the sites for ALL of the Fondue Writers: Joseph Courtemanche, Jamie D. Greening, Kathy Kexel, Derek Alan Elkins, Rob Cely, and Dr. Paul Bennet. If you like what you see, why not pick up a few copies of their books? It covers the cost of everything, and it gives us hope in those long, dark nights when we’re dreaming up new stories, that Christmas miracles really do come true.

You might also consider our first collection of short stories, The Covid Quarantine Catina, written during the first months of the Covid-19 lockdowns. It’s available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats.

Rob Cely will be back to close out our Valentine’s Day Explode-A-Ganza on Monday. Until then, remember that what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, Cats always land on their feet, and babies cry less when they sleep on their stomachs … so long as you don’t break anything. .

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There’s Always A Carpenter – A Free Valentine’s Story by Paul J Bennett

Day three of the Valientine’s Day Free Fiction Explode-A-Ganza brings us a wonderful, modern-day retelling of an old story by Dr. Paul J Bennett. And it’s set in a coffee shop, too! Check out “There’s Always A Carpenter”

If you fell in love with this one, why not give some of the other authors a chance as well. Check out the sites for ALL of the Fondue Writers: Joseph Courtemanche, Jamie D. Greening, Kathy Kexel, Derek Alan Elkins, Rob Cely, and Dr. Paul Bennet. If you like what you see, why not pick up a few copies of their books? It covers the cost of everything, and it gives us hope in those long, dark nights when we’re dreaming up new stories, that Christmas miracles really do come true.

You might also consider our first collection of short stories, The Covid Quarantine Catina, written during the first months of the Covid-19 lockdowns. It’s available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats.

Derek Alan Elkins will be back tomorrow with another story in our Valentine’s Day Explode-A-Ganza on Monday. Until then, remember that what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, Cats always land on their feet, and babies cry less when they sleep on their stomachs … so long as you don’t break anything. .

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The Picture – A Free Valentine’s Day Story from Jamie D. Greening

A picture holds a thousand words. But with today’s Free Valentine’s Day fiction, a picture might as well hold millions. Jamie Greening brings us another perspective on the paths love can take across a lifetime with his story: The Picture:

If you fell in love with this one, why not give some of the other authors a chance as well. Check out the sites for ALL of the Fondue Writers: Joseph Courtemanche, Jamie D. Greening, Kathy Kexel, Derek Alan Elkins, Rob Cely, and Dr. Paul Bennet. If you like what you see, why not pick up a few copies of their books? It covers the cost of everything, and it gives us hope in those long, dark nights when we’re dreaming up new stories, that Christmas miracles really do come true.

You might also consider our first collection of short stories, The Covid Quarantine Catina, written during the first months of the Covid-19 lockdowns. It’s available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats.

Dr Paul Bennet will be back tomorrow with another Valentine’s Day short story. Until then, find someone you love, hug them tight, and remind them not to break anything.

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The Spinster Squad vs Cupid: A Valentine’s Day Massacre – Kathy Kexel

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fondue Writer’s Club is back with a brand-new set of piping hot stories, this time in celebration of Valentine’s Day.

It’s strange to see the weirdness and degeneracy of one group of people rub off onto another. In this case, the moral degradation of the lunatic fringe of the Fondue Writer’s Club And Bar And Grille And Laundromat has, at least at first glance, given the title, rubbed off onto sweet, innocent Kathy Kexel.

What else are we to suppose, with her using words like “Massacre” right there in the title?

But if you look a little closer, the prevailing theme is something more akin to mischievousness than malevolence. And if that be the case, we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

Check out the new story from Kathy Kexel.

If you fell in love with this one, why not give some of the other authors a chance as well. Check out the sites for ALL of the Fondue Writers: Joseph Courtemanche, Jamie D. Greening, Kathy Kexel, Derek Alan Elkins, Rob Cely, and Dr. Paul Bennet. If you like what you see, why not pick up a few copies of their books? It covers the cost of everything, and it gives us hope in those long, dark nights when we’re dreaming up new stories, that Christmas miracles really do come true.

You might also consider our first collection of short stories, The Covid Quarantine Catina, written during the first months of the Covid-19 lockdowns. It’s available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats.

Jamie Greening will be back with another VD story tomorrow. Until then, remember to clean up after yourselves, spay and neuter your pets, and always always always try not to break anything.

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Capital L

On Thanksgiving, our six year old son was nearly crushed by a 200lb, metal, lighted Santa Claus decoration. 

We went to the North Georgia mountains for the holiday to do some hiking and waterfall searching amongst the quiet of the pines, away from the hustle and bustle of destination resort town like our hometown of Orlando. 

It was great. At first. 

Then Santa slipped his tension wires just as our son was playing off-path in a park in Helen, GA. We told him repeatedly to come back, but he didn’t listen. The road less traveled was too tempting for him, and he paid the price. Let that be a lesson to all you would-be commencement speakers who quote Robert Grost. As a result, we spent Thanksgiving night in a remote Georgia ER, hoping for the bleeding to stop, and that our son had no brain abnormalities beyond those our genetics gifted him at birth.  

He was fine. No worries.  He DOES have a healthy distrust of Santa Claus now, though. Which is probably a good thing. 

In December, one of the stitches from my cornea transplant (from wayback in 2012) made its way loose. I had it removed, but apparently the place where said stitch used to be is now infected, which is a bad thing for transplants. The doctor says I’m 50/50 on whether I’ll lose the eye. 

“We’ll have to wait and see,” he said. Then, he added: “No pun intended.”

I’ve been here a few times over the years. Cornea transplants can reject easily, especially for those who are prone to rub their eyes with dirt-encrusted hands after wrestling with kids in the backyard. I’m hopeful things pull through. They always have up till now. It just means a few harrowing days of partial blindness and another doctor’s visit next Wednesday. Then, it’s either a few steroid drops and my eye becomes Arnold Schwarzenegger, or a I undergo surgery which will turn me into a white Nick Fury

Whatever happens, I’m living in the tension of waiting for things to return to normal, which is a tension I think we’re all familiar with lately. 

It would be easy to say that I can’t wait for Christmas break to end, for the kids to go back to school and me back to work. There IS a part of me that goes there, just like there’s a part of me that lamented being so far away from home when Santa assaulted my progeny. 

We yearn for normalcy, for predictability. But life isn’t normal. It rarely conforns to the best laid plans of mice and men.

When you focus on being normal, you miss capital-L life right in front of you. Like families laughing at each other when someone forgets to unmute themselves on the now-annual Holiday Zoom get-together. There is joy in the trenches and sadness in the peaks, because Life exists in both places. To focus on returning to Normal LIfe is to miss Life entirely. 

I’m spending the day after Christmas with the kids, watching Miyazaki films and eating popcorn (the same popcorn I got qs a gift from Captech as a gift for  Christmas. Thanks, CT!). Tomorrow, we’ll toss baseball in the backyard. On Wednesday, we’ll find out which path I take with my eyesight and go from there. Nothing I can do about it now, so there’s no point missing out on popcorn, movies, and baseball while we wait, right?

I feel good about this decision. 

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Saturn’s Eye – Jamie Greening

A long-fought battle between two powerful forces finds a truce. But that truce is tenuous at best. Years after the truce was signed, rumblings of disagreements speak of a new war between the old foes, and the machinations of war once again resurrect to fight anew.

Is it the new Matrix: Resurrections film?

No! It’s today’s Fondue Christmas story from Jamie Greening, a sequel to last year’s story. It’s called Saturn’s Eye, and it’s ready for you, dear reader, over at the Greenbean site. Check it out. You will not be disappointed.

If you have the time, please check out the sites for ALL of the Fondue Writers: Joseph Courtemanche, Jamie D. Greening, Kathy Kexel, Derek Alan Elkins, Rob Cely, and Dr. Paul Bennet. If you like what you see, why not pick up a few copies of their books? It covers the cost of everything, and it gives us hope in those long, dark nights when we’re dreaming up new stories, that Christmas miracles really do come true.

If you’d like what you see, you might also check out our first collection of short stories, The Covid Quarantine Catina, written during the first months of the Covid-19 lockdowns. It’s available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats.

Dr Paul Bennett finishes us off on Friday, and then it’s Christmas and a new year. We’ll be back in the Winter and Spring with the occasional Free, Holiday-themed short story (and maybe some other things). Don’t you worry. Until then, enjoy the holiday of your choice, watch out for the New Year’s Baby’s diaper, and, as always … don’t break anything.

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An Other Christmas – Kathy Kexel

Aliens and Manger Scenes, Batman!

That’s the first thing that popped into my head when I ventured into today’s Fondue Writer’s Christmas story from Kathy Kexel. But that’s only because my brain is weird and operates in mysterious ways.

Today, Kathy Kexel blends Amish culture with science fiction with political intrigue and the Greatest Story Ever Told to come up with a wonderful tale of foreigners seeking refuge in unknown lands and finding a new place to call home.

There are also cows.

Check out An Other Christmas by Kathy Kexel.

Germany, place unknown | 2011 04 | Dairy cow on the “Kattendorfer Hof”.

If you have the time, please check out the sites for ALL of the Fondue Writers: Joseph Courtemanche, Jamie D. Greening, Kathy Kexel, Derek Alan Elkins, Rob Cely, and Dr. Paul Bennet. If you like what you see, why not pick up a few copies of their books? It covers the cost of everything, and it gives us hope in those long, dark nights when we’re dreaming up new stories, that Christmas miracles really do come true.

If you’d like what you see, you might also check out our first collection of short stories, The Covid Quarantine Catina, written during the first months of the Covid-19 lockdowns. It’s available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats.

Jamie D Greening will be back with us on Wednesday. Until then, be kind to your neighbors, celebrate the miracle of Christmas with those you love, and, as always … don’t break anything.