There was a new family on Beecher
They moved into the Beige, two-story
Colonial across from the Herbert J Thomas Memorial Children’s Park after Mrs.
Emmerson died. Mrs. Emmerson had trouble breathing back in December and passed
away in her sleep just after the New Year. Everyone said it was COVID, but no
one was sure.
The new family on Beecher Street
picked the house from a website listing because of the bright red hyacinth
flowers in the front. They left petals spread across the lawn like an explosion
of joy and color. The new family liked that. Everyone liked that. Mrs. Emmerson
had won the city’s coveted flower & garden award for “Best Floral
Display” for three years running because of her hyacinth flowers. It was
quite a thing to see!
Mrs. Emmerson stopped tending her hyacinths
shortly after her breathing troubles started. They died about the same time she
did. When the new family on Beecher Street moved in, they were disappointed to
see that the flowers were no longer there. They replanted with red rose bushes.
Everyone on Beecher Street was sad to see the rose bushes instead of Mrs.
Emmerson’s prized hyacinths, so they didn’t say much to the new family. This
made the new family sad, too. This is how we do things now.
After the new family on Beecher Street
settled in, the Father brought out a bin of recyclable, cardboard moving boxes
for trash day. He wheeled the bin to the street, set it down, and coughed once
into his left hand. He thought nothing of it, and walked back inside.
The children on Beecher Street were
playing kickball in the cul-de-sac. They took note of the Father of the New
Family, and shared the information with their parents. Their parents talked to each
other in hushed tones across backyard fences. They whispered in phone
conversations. They shared sideways glances across cracked driveways that
This is how the trouble started.
In less than two days, everyone on
Beecher Street gathered at the cul-de-sac next to the beige Colonial where the
new family lived. They talked it over. This is how we do things now.
“My daughter Betty said he practically
coughed up blood,” Mrs. Barber said.
“Well my son Stevie told me heard the
whole FAMILY was coughing!” Mrs. Anderson said.
“I heard they moved here from the
city,” Mrs. Granger said.
“Figures,” Mrs. Shackleford said. “That’s
probably why they destroyed Mrs. Emmerson’s wonderful hyacinths.”
“Everyone in the city is sick,” Mrs.
Hester said. “They probably just wanted to get away from all that.”
“Or bring it to us,” Mr. Johnson said.
“Well,” Mrs. Giles said. “I heard they
were part of a political group. I heard they wanted to spread the disease as
far and as wide as they can. To destroy our way of life!”
“How could they?” Mr. Samuels said. “The
“That’s what we get for letting
unknowns move in,” Mr. Roberts said. There was a quiet murmur in the crowd. A bird
“What happens if they come out again?”
Mrs. Giles asked. Mrs. Giles was scared.
“They have to come out, sometime,” Mr.
Samuels said. “They can’t stay in there forever.”
“What if they get my kids sick?” Mrs.
Hester asked. “What if they get us all sick?”
“They have to know better, don’t they?
Don’t they know what they’re doing? Someone should say something. Someone
should DO something.”
The murmur got louder. But Bill
Michaels, who lived with his family in the biggest house on Beecher Street,
“Calm down, everyone,” Bill said. And
“Why don’t we try talking to them? All
we have to do is tell them we don’t want anyone to get sick, so if they could
please take simple and necessary precautions, we can avoid any unpleasantness.”
Everyone agreed this was a good idea.
Bill Michaels went to the door of the beige Colonial House on Beecher Street
with his wife Susan. Mr. and Mrs. Hester went with them. Everyone else stood in
the cul-de-sac. They pretended not to watch. This is how we do things now.
Bill Michaels rang the doorbell. The
Father answered. The new family on Beecher Street had been eating dinner, but
the Father came anyway. This was the first time their doorbell had rung since
they moved in.
“Hello,” The father said.
“Hi,” Bill Michaels said.
“What can I do for you?”
“I understand there was an incident
with the trash cans the other day,” Bill said. “I understand you had a pretty nasty
The Father was confused.
“No,” he said. “I wasn’t coughing.”
“Well our kids said you wheeled out
some trash, then bent over and coughed so hard, blood came out.”
“I might have coughed a bit,” The
Father said. “So what?”
“You know there’s a sickness going
“Yes, but we don’t…”
“We don’t want our families, our KIDS
to get sick.”
“I know, but … “
“So we’d appreciate it if you keep
your coughing to your own house and not try to infect any of the families on
The Father was mad. This wasn’t at all
what he imagined for his family’s new life on Beecher Street.
“Listen, man,” The Father said. “I don’t
know who you are, but I don’t appreciate you coming up to my house and talking
to me like this, especially while my family is eating dinner.”
“I’m Bill Michaels…” Bill Michaels
“I don’t care who you are. Get off my
lawn before I remove you from it.”
The Father slammed the door in Bill
Michaels’ face. Susan Michaels was hurt. Mr. and Mrs. Hester were shocked. The
rest of the families in the cul-de-sac gasped. No one had spoken to Bill Michaels
like that before. This might be how they do things in the city. This was not
how they do things on Beecher Street.
The families returned home. Everyone went
to sleep. Maybe this will pass, many of them thought. Maybe this will pass.
*** *** *** ***
The next morning, word got around.
Mrs. Hester and two of her kids were sick with COVID. Three of the kids who
played kickball in the cul-de-sac next to the beige Colonial with the rose
bushes had also gotten sick. And Mr. Johnson wasn’t answering phone calls. Mr
Johnson always answered phone calls.
“It has to be the new family,” Mr.
Hester the group later that day. “Susan said she started feeling sick as soon
as we got home last night. Now, who knows what will happen to her?”
“I’m not feeling well, either,” Mr.
Samuels said. “I know I was only in the cul-de-sac, but so were those kids!”
“This is all part of their plan,” Mrs.
Giles said. “They’re trying to kill us. They WANT to kill us. People like that?
They don’t care how many people die.”
“Hold on a minute,” Mr Landis spoke
up. “Doesn’t it take five to ten days for the disease to show symptoms? It
could be some of us already had it.”
“What’s wrong with you? Are you on
THEIR side? Do YOU want people to die, too?”
“No,” Mr Landis said. “I just want to
be reasonable here.”
“The time for reasoning is past,” Bill
Michaels said. “The time for action is now. Something has to be done before
they kill us all. This is how we do things now.”
Bill Michaels stifled a cough as
everyone made their way home.
*** *** *** *** ***
By the time the sun had set that
evening, three more families had come down with COVID. Two of the kickball kids
from earlier were feeling better, but one was still sick. Jim Grant, the town
librarian, reported getting sick midway through the day. The closed the
library, but it was too late. Nearly everyone who had checked out a book
reported having the sickness. Leslie Strongbow turned down an invitation for
dinner with Bill and Susan Michaels. Old Mr. Cooper rode away in an ambulance,
grasping his chest. All of it was COVID. All of it. Everyone was sure. There
was no questioning these facts. The time for reason has passed, Bill Michaels said.
And everyone believed him.
This is how we do things now.
That night, when the sun went down,
the remaining families from Beecher Street followed Bill Michaels to the
cul-de-sac next to the house where the New Family lived. Mrs. Emmerson’s house,
many people said. They brought garden tools. They brought pitchforks. A few
people brought lanterns to light up their path.
Everyone on Beecher Street was scared.
Except for Bill Michaels. Bill Michaels knew what to do.
“Friends,” Bill Michaels began. “Thank
you for coming.”
“Beecher Street has been a happy place
to live for as long as I can remember. For as long as ANY of us can remember.
Some of us, like me, grew up here. We remember playing in Herbert J. Thomas
park right there. We remember riding our bikes Up and Down Beecher Street in
the summer. Mrs. Emmerson used to give us peppermint candies when our parents
weren’t looking. Do you remember that, Sam? Do YOU remember, Jane?”
Mr. Jameson and Mrs. Everett agreed.
They remembered. They remembered well.
“For as long as any of us can
remember, Beecher Street has been Safe. It’s been a haven against the outside
world. Bad things happen out there, but none of that matters to us here. Here,
we do things differently.”
“I hate to say it, folks, but some of
that badness has come to Beecher Street at long last. This New Family living in
poor, deceased Mrs. Emmerson’s house has brought the COVID sickness to us. Tim
Hester’s wife has it. Little Billy Mayflower has it. Old George Cooper, too. They
might make it, but they might not. Only God knows now.”
Tim Hester broke down crying. Everyone
around him put their hands on his shoulder to comfort him.
“If we don’t stand up to the New
Family now, we all might get it. We might all die. They might kill us all!”
The crowd was angry now. Their faces
grew shadows as the lantern lights danced in the darkening air.
“I say we protect our children and our
families. I say we protect each other. I say we protect everyone and everything
on Beecher Street and put a stop to this right here and now. Who’s with me?”
The crowd cheered. Bill Michaels
marched to the front lawn of the beige Colonial where the New Family lived. The
large crowd followed.
The Father stepped onto the porch. He
had a baseball bat.
“What do you think you’re doing?” The Father
“We’re here to protect our children,
our families, and our way of life,” Bill Michaels said. He pulled out a large
gun and pointed it at the ground.
“Come out,” Bill Michaels said. “Admit
what you have done.”
“Admit what I have done? You’re crazy,
man. I haven’t done anything.”
The crowd murmured with disdain.
“You brought COVID to our Street. You
killed Mr. Cooper and God knows who else.”
“What the …”
“ADMIT IT!” Bill Michaels screamed. “This is your last chance.”
“I didn’t do ANYTHING, man. I…”
“NO!” Bill took flipped the safety on
his gun and pointed it at The Father’s head. The Wife screamed. The children,
who had never left the house, hid behind their mother. Several other people in
the crowd drew their guns and pointed them at the New Family on Beecher Street.
This is how we do things now.
“Out. Now,” Bill Michaels said.
“Alright. Alright. I’m coming out. Don’t
shoot. Please. Just don’t shoot.”
“Kneel down here, in the street,” Bill
The Father knelt in the street, facing
his house. He looked at his wife and children. They were all very scared. The
crowd closed in tight, blocking his view.
“You brought the sickness here. You
planned this. You wanted to kill us,” Bill Michaels said.
“We gave you the chance to live with
us, to share in the joy of life on Beecher Street, but you chose another path.”
Bill Michaels pressed the gun into the
back of The Father’s head. He bent down next to The Father’s ear so he could
“Put your teeth on the curb,” Bill
Michaels said. The Father hesitated. “I’ll shoot your kids first if you don’t.”
The Father complied.
“Because you have sinned against the
families on Beecher Street, because you have brought this terrible sickness to
us, we must retaliate.”
“You may have thought you could hide
from us. You may have thought you could reason with us or become one with us. But
that is not how we do things here.”
“This,” Bill Michaels said. “This is
how we do things here.”
Bill Michaels lowered his foot on the back of the Father’s head, and painted the front lawn of the beige Colonial house on Beecher Street a bright red. The colors covered the lawn. It reminded everyone of Mrs. Emmerson’s hyacinths, and everyone agreed that things had finally been set to right.
It was quite a thing to see.
Many other lawns were painted similarly over the weeks and months to come. All Up and Down Beecher Street. All up and Down many other streets. All over the city and across the country.
This is how we do things now.
**** **** **** ****
Thanks for checking out our crap! For even more exciting crap, please check out (and perhaps slide us some dollars at ) the sites of each of our quarantined-and-slowly-going-more-insane-than-they-already-were authors: Joseph Courtemanche, Jamie Greening, Kathy Kexel, Derek Elkins, Rob Cely, and Dr. Paul J Bennett . I’m not normally this dark and twisted. Not until you get to know me good, anyway.