A Terrible Thing Made Worse: Reds v Brewers

The good folks at Redlegnation have me writing the game previews for the Reds’ series against the Milwaukee Brewers this weekend. The Reds have failed to meet even my low standards for this season. I fail to see how things can get much worse at this point. Of course, saying that means things WILL get worse, and in dramatic fashion if history serves.

Everything is Awesome. Nothing Sucks – Reds v Brewers, May 29, 2016

Calm and gentleness will definitely abound this afternoon as the Cincinnati Reds (16-33) leave their 11-game losing streak behind, hoping to both build on a 1-game winning streak AND win a series for the first time since Teddy Roosevelt was president and people were fascinated by those new-fangled automobiles, as they face off in the rubber match of a three game series against the Milwaukee Brewers (22-27) in Miller Park. I’m sure everything will be calm. Business as usual, as they say. Why would there be tension between these two, uber-professional teams, whose adherence to the unspoken rules of sense and decorum is only matched by their prowess on the ball field and their ability to win games?

There is no light at the End. There is only tunnel – Reds v Brewers, May 28, 2016

The Washington Generals Cincinnati Reds face off against the Brewers tonight in game two of the Battle of Futility at Miller Park in Milwaukee. The Reds, losers of 11 straight (and counting!), have their opponents right where they want them, having lulled everyone into a false sense of security with their sieve-like defense and limp, flaccid offense. Any day now, they’ll open the floodgates and let loose a torrent of runs so potent it will make the famed Murderer’s Row of the ’27 Yankees team look like a bunch of engineers trying to play t-ball on the side of a hill during a snowstorm in January. That’s what’s going on here, right? They can’t really be this bad. Right?

A Woe Continued – Reds v Brewers, May 27, 2016

The Milwakuee Brewers look to continue the woes of both the Cincinnati Reds (15-32) players and their fans this weekend, as they start a three game series in the Battle Of Teams That Were Essentially Eliminated From Contention Before The Season Started with the Bad News Cincinnati Reds. The coveted BOTTWEEFCBTSS trophy has been passed around to the first NL Central Central team to earn the status of “hopeless futility” each season, but the Reds seem to be breaking records in how quickly and with how much intensity they seem to have pursued this award. “This is a team sport,” said Reds coach, Bryan Price, “and it’s taken all of us working together to make this level of … success … happen.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *