Month: September 2024

I see you,

Scrolling, swiping, liking,
Chasing that next hit, that dopamine drip,
The flicker of a screen like a neon god,
And you bow down.

I see you, chasing promotions,
Suit and tie strangling the heart that once ran free,
Trading hours for dollars, but at what toll?
You say it’s for success, for status, for family,
But I see the strings.
Marionettes dancing to the tune of selfishness,
The first handshake with Pride,
Ink drying on the contract of your soul.

I see you, playing, always playing,
Video games, fantasy leagues, Fantasy sites and streams
As the real world burns in the corners of your eye.
You laugh at the screens,
But you don’t see the chains tightening around your wrists.

I see you, my friends, my blood,
And I think I am better.
Better because I do not chase like you chase,
Better because I don’t fall to those same distractions.
I sit in my high tower,
Looking down on the world like a god.
And that’s the first step, isn’t it?
The first step to becoming the very thing I despise.

Then,
I feel it.
The heat of my own pride creeping in.
The road to damnation is paved, not in grand betrayals,
But in petty frustrations.

I hate the traffic,
I curse the ones too slow, too stupid to see.
I judge those selling meaningless things,
Those hawking emptiness to the masses.
They fill the world with noise,
Loud words with empty meaning
And I judge, I curse, I burn.

But who am I now?
Isn’t this the same damnation?
This quiet hatred in my bones,
The condescending smirk behind my eyes,
My own agreement with the darkness.

God,
I see it now.

I stand on the edge of the same pit,
No different, no holier.
Forgive me for the pride that chokes me,
For the small, bitter angers that eat away at my spirit.

Let me walk through this world in love,
Even if it’s hard, even if it’s just today.
Let me release the petty judgments,
Let me release the need to be above.

Help me see not the distractions,
But the hearts behind them,
The souls trying, stumbling, searching.

Let me be humble,
Not in thought but in action,
Not in grand gestures but in the small, daily breath of kindness.

If I fall, if I falter,
Grant me the grace to rise again.
Not perfect,
Just striving to be better.

Let me love,
If not for always,
At least for today.

Sunday night’s a trainwreck
rolling downhill, off the tracks,
five kids,
five stories,
five plates still stacked with homework,
responsibilities,
and dishes
but only two parents holding it together like scotch tape on a hurricane.

The oldest two—
teenagers with thumbs glued to controllers,
piling up points like responsibilities,
pressing buttons like those last-second calls to push back deadlines—
They whine like it’s their Olympic sport.
“Mom, it’s Sunday,
why do we have to think about Monday?“
as if Monday is some faraway place,
some never-land,
but it’s creeping up behind them like the unfinished math homework
sitting in a heap on their desks.

Kid three? He’s chill,
already got his backpack packed, shoes by the door,
but his eyes are locked on the football game.
The clatter of helmets smashing
echoes through the room
while he sits still, like some Buddha among the chaos,
letting the mess of the night orbit around him,
content to stay wrapped in the cocoon of the game
while the world just spins.

Kid four walks in the door,
head full of stars and stardust,
astronomy books under his arm,
like he’s just returned from another galaxy.
He stumbles over toys and laundry
but doesn’t see the mess—
just thinks about the vastness of space,
the calm of the night sky.
What’s a little chaos when you’ve touched the infinite, right?
His room smells like night air and wonder.

And then there’s her—
the youngest,
she’s everywhere.
Cartwheels across the living room,
leaps through the kitchen,
dolls scattered in her wake,
her laughter spins the air like a gymnast herself,
untethered, unburdened,
with no concept of clocks or calendars.
She’s on her own time,
and all the clocks are broken anyway.

The mother?
She’s a silent storm,
holding the weight of the world
in the slump of her shoulders.
Exhaustion hits her like a freight train
with no brakes,
but she keeps moving,
because Sunday night doesn’t care if you’re tired,
and there’s still laundry to fold, lunches to pack,
emails to send,
and a meeting in the morning
about the meetings you’ll have next week.

But the father—
oh, the father—
he’s tired, too,
but his tired’s got a different flavor.
A contentment, a joy, a peace
in the eye of this wild storm.
His boys are arguing,
his daughter’s a tornado of cartwheels,
but he breathes it in,
like the scent of fresh-cut grass at a ballpark.
Because what’s work,
what’s baseball practice,
what’s Boy Scouts and homework
and all the chaos,
when there’s laughter?

The week’s going to be a marathon:
Boy Scout meetings, cross-country practice,
baseball games,
homework deadlines snapping at their heels,
like hounds at the hunt.
But tonight,
amidst the clutter of schoolbags and video game controllers
and a living room that looks like a battlefield
of socks and Legos,
he finds peace.

The house is loud,
but his heart is quiet,
because the mess means life,
the chaos means love,
and the work,
oh, the work,
it’s the price of joy.

We sat there, me and you, under a sky that couldn’t decide if it was crying or just playing around. Raindrops like teardrops, dripping, dropping,but there we were, eating ice cream.

Chocolate chip in one hand, your tiny fingers curling around the cone, like it’s the last thing in the world you’d ever hold.

I’m watching you laugh,mouth full of sweet cream,like you just discovered joy was made of sugar,like this moment wasn’t supposed to happen— Rain? Ice cream? Together? But here it is, and so are we.

We’re a puddle of wet sneakers, melted vanilla mixing with raindrops on the sidewalk, like the sky’s got a thing for flavors too.

I say, “This is crazy,” and you say, “This is perfect.”

And maybe you’re right. Maybe rain is the sauce no one ever knew ice cream needed, maybe this is the soundtrack to a memory we’ll never forget.

You, me, a cone of something too good for words, and a sky that decided, just for today, to rain down laughter.