Elevator Conversations: Dora

I’m standing in the elevator. Some guy walks in, presses a button, and the doors close.

The elevator does not move.

Me: Great.
Him: (to the tune of a Dora Explorer song) Come on, Vomanos. Everybody let’s go!.

I look at him as if to say, “Really, dude?” He looks sheepish until the elevator starts moving.

He smiles the rest of the way.


The Battle of Futility: Reds v Astros

The good folks at Redlegnation have me writing the game previews for the Reds’ series against the Houston Astros this weekend. I’m hip-deep in Toastmasters work this weekend, plus we have to get that garage cleaned out at the homeplace at some point. But … Baseball!

Follow along all weekend and see if you can spot when my brain finally goes off the rails!

Phoning It In – Reds v Astros, June 19, 2016

Well, that was fun, wasn’t it? We got to see Cody Reed pitch, finally. Adam Duvall hit a home run and struck out. The Reds lost in extra innings. And all was right with the world.

The Cody Reed Show – Reds v Astros, June 18, 2016

There will be a baseball game this afternoon. Someone – either the Cincinnati Reds (27-41) or the Houston Astros (32-36) – will win. Afterward, someone on this site will give stellar insight and analysis of the game. Other sites will do their same, tired shtick. But the real news today, of course, is the major-league debut of top Reds pitching prospect Cody Reed, who is #60 overall, and #3 in the Reds system.

The Battle of Futility Begins Anew: Reds v Astros, June 17, 2016

Remember the good ol days when the (dis)Astros were in the NL Central and everyone enjoying taking their turn, beating the snot out of them? Those were the good old days, weren’t they? #Sigh

The Records Fall: Ichiro eclipses Pete

Sometime this week, or maybe the next, Ichiro Suzuki of the Miami Marlins will break Pete Rose’s hallowed record for most career hits.

Before you get excited, there are caveats to that, of course. Ichiro only breaks the record if you include the 1278 he got while playing in Japan. And, if you’re going to do that, you might as well include Pete’s 400-500 hits from minor league teams. But if you’re going to do THAT, you have to take into account that the Japanese league plays significantly fewer games than the US each season. But then … and then …

I get it. This isn’t a debate about who holds the record. Rather, it’s a conversation about records in general.

Most Reds fans who were alive at the time, know where they were when Pete broke the record. We remember it like it was yesterday.

Read the rest at Redlegnation.

Dust-Busting: Reds v Nationals

The good folks at Redlegnation have me writing the game previews for the Reds’ series against the Washington Nationals this weekend. It’s Dusty Baker’s return to Great American Ballpark. Either that or its the Reds going to whatever they call that stadium out in DC. I don’t know. I have four, small children and a full time job. Ain’t nobody got TIME to know those things. All I know is the way the Reds have been competing lately, it makes me wish the old Dust-meister were still here. This, of course, means I’ve gone completely insane!

Sweeping the Dust Away- Reds v Nationals, June 5, 2016

Baseball is fun when the hometown wins, and it is especially fun when you beat the first place team in another division. The Reds won yesterday on the strength of Adam Duvall’s 15th homer. Now, in the midst of a four game winning streak, your Cincinnati Reds (21-35) break out the brooms for the series sweep against the Washington Generals (33-23) today at Great American Ballpark.

#BelievelandSouth – Reds v Nationals, June 4, 2016

Just like I said in yesterday’s pre-cap, the Mighty Migty Redlegs (20-35) rolled the Washington Gnats (33-22) to take their winning streak to THREE WHOLE GAMES, and notched another victory toward their inevitable domination of the NL Central, the National League, the World Series, and even the entire sports world. They will dominate in a way similar to how the Cleveland Cavaliers will dominate this evening. #BelieveLandSouth.

I Feel Good! Reds v Nationals, June 3, 2016

Would ya look at that? The Cincinnati Reds (19-35), having won 3 of the last 4 games against the offensive juggernaut known as the Colorado Rockies, return home to face the Washington Nationals (33-21) for a three-game weekend series. Three out of four in a row for series victory. #Awesometastic! The Reds haven’t done that since Woodrow Wilson was president (or something like that). They keep this up (and you just KNOW they will, right?), they’ll finish the season with 100 victories and will storm their way through the playoffs to an eventual World Series victory!

Hey. Let’s Keep Adam Duvall

One of the bright spots on the Reds trava-sham-mockery of a season thus far has been the Dave Kingman esque emergence of Adam Duvall, who occasionally hits homeruns to mask the fact that he strikes out more than a horny physicist at a bikini convention. Homeruns are cool, though. And, as Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine once said, chicks dig the longball. So let’s keep him.

Playing GM for a major sports franchise is a fun thing to do. That’s part of why so many of us do Fantasy Sports. Unfortunately, for many of us, there is a huge difference between making fantasy trades online and actually running a major sports organization.

Which is a good thing, because I’m getting killed in my fantasy baseball league. Sure, the guy winning the league has a masters degree in statistics and is an athletic director for a large school district in northern Ohio. But I’m an Analytics Manager for an international, entertainment company. I really should do better than 8th out of 10.

I’m kind of embarrassed about it. I hope nobody finds out.

Read More